I wrote about angry men. Now, I will write about charismatic ones.*
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That devil of a man exercises a fascination on me that I cannot explain even to myself, and in such a degree that, though I fear neither God nor devil, when I am in his presence I am ready to tremble like a child, and he could make me go through the eye of a needle to throw myself into the fire.
GENERAL VANDAMME, ON NAPOLEON BONAPARTE
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So I will start with something private, maybe sad and beautiful in a way.
When I met my ex-partner, it was a real meet-cute.
I saw him on a stage at a Toastmasters meeting. He was so different from anyone else, calm and full of quiet confidence.
And when it was his turn to speak, it was undeniable that he had a fantastic way with words.
He was also beautiful to look at. Large eyes, glistening smile, hands with slender, long fingers.
I remember thinking about this mix of charisma and angel-like beauty, and I instantly wanted to get to know him. Shortly after that meeting, I wanted him.
Everyone who got to know him always remembered him. He was extremely likable and made an immediate impact on people. They gathered around him, wanted to listen to him, and he made this electrifying impression on others without any effort.
For me, things like that don’t come so quickly. Nobody ever described me as classically charismatic or overly confident. I am not shy or scared of people, but I have never had enough magnetism to steal everyone’s attention without even trying.
I sometimes stare at men like my ex, see my lacking qualities, and become unsure.
Whether I want them or want to be them.
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What makes these men so thrilling, and why do I think it is overrated?
I think that there is a spoiler already in my story above. There are reasons why my relationship did not survive, and his magnetic charisma could not sustain it long-term. When you really know someone, see their core, and understand who they are when nobody has the energy to put up a brave face – things like charisma, charm, eloquence, and even intelligence seem very shallow and impractical.
The charisma can madden the crowd gathered to listen to the leader’s speech.
But it will neither feed them nor shelter them. It will only elevate and inspire them for a moment, day or even a year. We all crave that spiritual thrill from time to time.
But you still have to eat.**
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I wrote the Dune series because I had this idea that charismatic leaders ought to come with a warning label on their forehead: “May be dangerous to your health.” One of the most dangerous presidents we had in this century was John Kennedy because people said “Yes Sir Mr. Charismatic Leader what do we do next?” and we wound up in Vietnam. And I think probably the most valuable president of this century was Richard Nixon. Because he taught us to distrust government and he did it by example.
Frank Herbert
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Paul Atreides, the main character of ‘Dune’, is charismatic, beautiful (who is more beautiful than Timothée Chalamet?) and destined for greatness, both by his virtues and by birthright.
I marvel at the popularity of the Dune series as they are such weird, hard-to-read books.
I only like the first book – but I really like it. There is some elusive beauty and tragedy to it, serendipitous genius that engraves certain images in your soul.
I have always remembered the alluring horror of the desert, the despair of thirst, and the calamity of being the chosen one since I read it ages ago. And, of course, the worms.
How can you read about riding sandworms and not think it’s weird (and/or exciting)?
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I never watched any of the Dune movies, but I strongly suspect that if you go and watch them, you expect Timothée Chalamet, with this jawline and hair, to be the Jesus and Harry Potter of the story.
But that was not the author’s intention.
To shortly summarise the story of his life [SPOILERS AHEAD], Paul Atreides ( = main character = Timotée) is a young son of a duke who is sent with his family to a planet named Arrakis, basically a giant sandpit, with little to no water and very rebellious quasi-Arab people on it. His family is killed, his mum is so cool that she protects him, and they travel through dunes; they join angry non-Arabs (aka Fremen), where he quickly becomes their leader and finds an exotic girlfriend (but too low-born to ever marry her). He rises in his power and leads his people to fight against the evil emperor of the known world in not always the cleanest ways, leaving multiple corpses on the path to his destined throne. Once he becomes the emperor himself, he has big aspirations, but the system, personal tragedies, conspiracies and scheming seem to break him slowly.
So, when his children are born, like Leo Tolstoy, he checks out and becomes a pilgrim, wishing the best of luck to the huge empire he leaves behind for his mentally unstable sister and newborn babies to manage.
So why did he fail to sustain his rule?
The reason is, and this is exactly why this book series is so weird, that he decided not to dissolve his humanity and transform into a giant worm. He left this fate to his son Leto, who was basically his upgraded, selfless version. The Galahad to this Lancelot. The vision of the ultimate wormness frightened him, and he preferred, similar to our ancestors, to let future generations worry about the aftermath of his decisions (somehow becoming an immortal worm leader was necessary for humanity to survive).
As a giant cruel worm god, his son Leto ruled the empire for over three thousand years, saving it from extinction and degeneration, looking at the deaths of his beloved and rising beyond the weakness of a human leader.
I told you it would be weird.
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The charm of charisma is that we can see this person as someone beyond a regular human, someone bigger than your mediocre life.
But the problem is that they are just as mediocre as everyone else; they only know how to pretend better.
They are flawed like everyone else; they might get corrupted by power, and they will, one day, get weak and die, the ultimate common denominator.
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[About Polish national anthem] Its second, rather incoherent verse refers explicitly to Napoleon: ‘We will cross the Vistula and Warta Rivers,/ we will be Poles,/ Bonaparte showed us how to win. ‘*** But, alas, eventually all their hopes were dashed and the Poles did not win.
Peter Alter, Playing with the Nation: Napoleon and the Culture of Nationalism
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“Charisma comes from an inner quality that most people lack and want.” — Robert Greene
“The eyes of the charismatic never show fear or nerves.” — Robert Greene
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Unless you know where to look.
I looked into the eyes of men who wanted to appear charismatic. And they did, to many people. And sometimes, all I saw there was fear and suffering and self-loathing.
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The word charisma itself comes from Greek. The word χάρισμα (chárisma) means “favor freely given” or “gift of grace”.
According to Robert Greene, the boldness and serenity of charismatic men are felt by everyone, but they are not understood easily. They are followed by people who are natural followers, and that is most people. It creates both religious and erotic charge in the person, replacing traditional gods in their mind.
It brings back the archetype of a godly mad prophet, whom people follow passionately.
Greene says that charisma always has religious roots and inspires people with a vision.
“In our rational, disenchanted world, people crave a religious experience, particularly on a group level.”
If you think about any charismatic, dangerous and sinister leaders of the last hundred years – could you not find the fire in the eyes of their followers akin to religious madness?
When I fell in love nine years ago with a young medicine student, did I not feel like I was full of pure divine inspiration?
Well, it was a long time ago, but yes, probably.
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*Sometimes, there is an overlap.
**Please don’t read this literally and think my ex-fiance didn’t feed me. He is, in fact, an excellent cook and a very generous person.
***Btw, like many other things, this sounds much better in Polish.
